I’m not bipolar, but poker makes me feel that way sometimes. Some days I’m on top of the world. I make all the right moves and get paid off. I win tournaments, Sit ‘N Goes, cash games, whatever. I am the king of the card room and no one can touch me.
Other days, I make unexploitable shoves and great calls only to get drawn out on. My pocket pair never holds against two over cards and my AK seems to be a magnet for 269 flops.
You went all in with 85s versus my Aces? Don’t worry. You’re good sir.
Soon I’m on tilt and it’s like I don’t even know how to play poker.
If you’re not a poker player, you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I can’t think of any other aspect of life where someone can feel like a god one day and an insect the next.
Poker players are a special breed. Winning never feels as good as losing feels bad. Sometimes we feel like quitting our jobs and playing full time and other times we feel like smashing our computer with an aluminum bat before running head-first into a brick wall. Yet we keep playing.
I had a bad day today. I didn’t catch any cards and when I did, they didn’t hold. My losses were small compared to my bankroll, but psychologically it feels like I lost a third of my money.
I have a lot of respect for all the grinders out there who can play day in and day out and take beats with stride. I’m not there yet.
I will, however, keep playing. Through the pain, through the frustration; I know my next upswing is right around the corner.
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